Diamonds, yachts, Maldives - why are we waiting for all this from men?
Fur coat, boots, a trip to the sea - it sounds like irony, but in Soviet times, that was how an innocent list of what the wife usually expected from her husband looked like. Modern girls, of course, have properly edited the list of expectations, but it is worth noting that it contains much less irony, rather the sad truth about the inadequate perception of marriage, partnership, the man as a whole.
What is usually expected from a husband today? Diamonds. For example, a girl gave birth to a child and sits counting the days when the pious instead of tears of joy and happiness will thank the beloved ring or earrings. But it is not necessary to give birth, and without it the husband has a serious number of duties: to provide housing, to send him twice a year on vacation, to change the car. There are other expectations - domestic. Washing dishes, taking care of the child, entertaining on weekends - not sitting at the computer in the evenings, right?
The bitter truth is that any expectation is a shift of responsibility from oneself to another. It reminds of a parental relationship in some way, when a girl does not want to grow up, because to live in the position “I am small, and you all need me” is much more pleasant and convenient. Modern families today are falling apart with sad statistics, and one of the main reasons for the collapse is women's requests. Behind them lies not only disrespect for the man, but also to himself. Nobody is obliged to perform our Wishlist - it seems to us that the child is better to study in a paid gymnasium. We believe that running and cycling is better than watching football at home. It's in our eyes that my husband should become a vegetarian, and not "all bullshit". Instead of taking full responsibility for ourselves and filling our lives, we begin to focus on our partner and scoff at him in every possible way for the “best reasons”. Perhaps in retaliation for an unhappy childhood or for other reasons.
But the husband is not the parent. And if thanks to him you live with all your childhood injuries with a new force, it is better to seriously consider the consequences and contact a specialist.
What else does a man owe us? Give flowers, deftly jump up the career ladder, understand us and feel the subtle interweaving of the female soul, help the father-in-law to build a summer house and appear there, adore playing with children, admire, even when we are sitting in a corner on a sofa and punch, do not look at other women. So you want to be on the site of this man? Who lived and lived, when he suddenly took and voluntarily plunged into a lifelong "credit" - to be comfortable and perfect.
There are no perfect people, trying to remake a person is stupid and low, and in general a husband is not a machine for making us happy. In addition, if at first he will meet your needs, it is unlikely to reassure you, because there will always be other Wishlist.
There is another need that we often take for a sincere, innocent desire.
When we want endless admiration from a man and his every cold look is perceived as a blow, this is a signal that there is a problem area inside our psyche, and it most likely refers to incomplete acceptance of ourselves.There is one simple truth: we should admire ourselves. Otherwise it doesn't work at all.
We are so arranged - we admire something beautiful and ready, for example, a cool sports car. It is unlikely that you visually endow her with some missing qualities. So it is with people. Not knowing who you are and what you are, the other will not think it out for you. So the admiration is in us. You are a personality with characteristic qualities that are good for accepting, approving and praising yourself in every possible way for their presence. This is a responsible, but very interesting job - to be filled from the inside with kindness, love, respect and acceptance. After that, the husband will become a real prince with his charming flaws, weaknesses and peculiarities. And the ring with a diamond will not take long to wait!