Help me find a way out

I do not even know what to do, I see God threw the most ordeal. At first, my half talked to classmates at social networks, one of them to her more and more attention. And at home a small scandal and after 2 days she is going to see her mother for the weekend takes money from me and go. There she was already "met" and immediately to the hut - and It took 3 days to live with him. Some kind of angry back all it comes off itp, brought a gift from her lover - a teddy bear, took a picture of yourself with him and threw an avatar on contact, now this present is on the table, constantly “reminding” about pleasant events. He sits in contact and scribbles for days, at first I don’t pay attention drew, and then hacked into her contact and "quietly" turned gray! It turns out for 4 the day of dense correspondence in contact and the first meeting could fall in love and surrender so to speak, and body and soul. In general, I began to follow her, pretending to be a sucker. Since I have 18 years of experience in IT technology, then everything was taken into account. A keylogger was installed on her computer, I looked through the mail, installed SMS interception, and of course Contact and classmates are hacked.Oh, how much did I know about myself, me doused with mud almost daily, and how many love little letters, your mother, everything that I told her - immediately unsubscribed lover, but the keylogger regularly kept all the scribbling and "screened" Dialogues from the contact, in the end turned out a whole book. By the time she I changed only 3 days, well, when I went to "mom" as it were. After 3-4 days I told her everything, my nerves passed, there was a scandal, after another 4-5 I decided to forgive her for days and it seemed to have subsided. When she found out that I burned it with all the giblets in contact - I switched to 3-4 (sms / calls) per day with him. Well, okay, I think she is at home then go mad. And here it is again necessary to go to the "mother", after 18 days. Well, I I think I will give her money for the way to get presents. coming on March 8), well, she was pleased to receive 10 thousand rubles went. I called from there and said that the lover sent her only 2 sms and she I did not answer, and as if everything was fine, and so on, but I believed the fool. return (4 days it was not) decided to get the details on her calls and sms for a certain period, to be honest - shock !, there was about 8 SMS and 3-5 calls per day, and there were calls at one in the morning and in the morning and in the middle of the day.It was such that I call, we say everything is fine, and after 5 min goes the call from her to her lover. In general, I printed all the statistics calls and sms and threw a pack of 8 sheets to her on the table, also all collected The material carefully looked through and folded the web page (where it also posted and statistics of calls and SMS) on the Internet - and threw links to both creatures on the wall in contact, so my wife almost fell off the chair, and then rushed, it turns out she just got off the bus on arrival to the "mother" she was immediately met and taken to the apartment for love and rest, and all 4 day she was having fun there, bought herself gifts for March 8 for my money, and just did not forget to make a present for the "beloved" by February 23 and sex, of course, as without him. In general, I know all the details, although by March 8 she had practically stopped communicating with him, and even then due to the fact that he put all her computer conversations under the keylogger and I threw the number tag of my beloved from her phone to the blacklist. Tearful "sorry" was not there, sometimes seeing that I go to sleep in another place requests to return, and sometimes "if you want, I can leave." God feels that with him I broke it, but what trust can there be now? Stupidly do not believe be her "under the keylogger" for the rest. In general, we live with her for 22 years, I 43, she is 40, son is 17 (he is aware), I do not know what to do, I can’t sleep her, images immediately come up, I can't even lie with her in one bed is disgusting! although I love it, I don’t even know for what. I don’t know what to do, it hurts as it never was, help me find a way out, I beg you ...
There are 5 answers
Mr arrogance
Mr arrogance
Answered on Mar 19, 2015 11:31
I would leave this rubbish. how to live? even if before that everything was perfect with you, it crosses everything out, it crosses everything to hell! Yes, it is difficult, it is, consider, the whole life of the dog under the tail, but to live on with it is worse than hell. Son is an adult, understand. Divorce, you will have nothing good. Even if she never changes again (which is, firstly, unlikely: who betrayed once, will betray the second, and secondly, you will not be stupid with her anymore, you will be disgusted even to dine with her, not so much a hug! ). There are still many lonely worthy women in the world who will take you away with arms and legs! Be strong, you can't forgive. Good luck, and this **** ... all the best.
Best
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
Answered on March 19, 2015 11:41
This, of course, tin. Very difficult situation ... Probably, first you need to understand yourself.How much do you love her, can you live the rest of your life without her? Your heart will probably say NO. And what will the mind say? Once she went to such a deception, since she fell to treason - it means she has no respect for you, and, however sad it may sound, love. No man in love can not afford to change his beloved. NO ONE. Because it is below dignity: how can you even change a person whom you yourself chose? How can you betray him? After all, this is a betrayal of himself! This is not an accidental mistake (yes, it happens, a passing hobby, because of which a person then terribly repents, having realized that he can lose his dearest because of an accidental affair). But, apparently, she doesn’t regret at all (maybe she’s deep in her heart, but if it was a strong and sincere experience, she couldn’t hide it). If I had got into such a situation and were in its place, I would have wallowed in my feet in tears and snot. I would break my head for the sake of forgiveness. Do you understand? Now do you think she appreciates you? Most likely, once this happened once, the other will happen again. Do you need it? Can you tolerate such an attitude? Love-love, but allow yourself to humiliate yourself ... No, I would not have endured. Forgive me for such an incomprehensible answer ... I would recommend that you live a little apart from her and calmly put your thoughts in order and find the right solution.
Best
best_or_nothing
best_or_nothing
Answered 19 march 2015 11:43
Do not live with treason. To forgive - yes, not to hold insults - yes, to wish for happiness - yes, but not to live with treason. And in such situations, a person changes not you, but himself. Once she made a decision in her life and chose you. Now she changes her decision and herself. Changed and betrayed once, repeat it again, as you were convinced. She will change her new lover and maybe the next one (as long as she has enough strength, she’s not a girl anymore). Continuing to live with it is daily torment, anxiety, anxiety, suspicion, and you can go crazy. Take care of yourself and support your son. In this life, bitches are many and no one is immune from betrayal. The main thing is not to be like them. It is their choice, their right, their life. And you live the way you want to live. Better to be alone than with anyone. And you're not alone, I'm more than sure. You probably have friends, girlfriends, relatives. Get out of your head in communication, hobbies, interesting work. Live for yourself so that you feel comfortable, but you will no longer be comfortable with this person. I experienced it myself. Yes, the first time ochchchen not easy, straight vomit and nauseous. But ... time is time ... The mood of man. Out of sight, out of mind. Everything goes and it is also. Love yourself, I beg you.
Best
Butterfly
Butterfly
Answered 19 march 2015 13:14
I think she has no love for you, she just uses you. The heart in such situations is a bad adviser. It is necessary to connect the mind. You will continue to live with this - you will suffer. It is unlikely to stop lying and changing. First live separately, the son, however, an adult, will understand already. Look at her behavior. There it will be clear what to do. Evaluate not your heart, but your mind. Most likely, better to get a divorce.