How to build a healthy relationship
A young couple who marries may be extremely dependent on their parents. In their early childhood, they did not go through the beneficial process of psychological separation from them. How to build a healthy relationship?
As before, the umbilical cord of psychological dependence binds them to their parents, preventing them from showing their individuality and independence.
Their family model completely copies the scheme according to which the parents lived. And the point is not that this scheme is imperfect. The problem is that each of the young ones, by virtue of their dependence on their parents, will cling to their children's experience and assert that it was their parents who created the only correct family model.
And if so, then the second half should simply be happy at the thought of what a wonderful card she had, giving the opportunity to enter the best family in the world. Of course, it is necessary to completely abandon what her parents taught, to abandon the wrong model of the family, which they, the unwise, gave her. At the same time the bride considers
"I have to be like my mother ..."
“My husband should behave like my dad, who is the best man in the world ...”
"My husband should obey me just as my dad listens to my mom ..."
“My parents are the best, so my husband must love them and obey them, as I do.”
"My husband and I will decorate the house, eat, rest, raise children, etc., as my parents did."
In turn, the groom considers
"I have to be like dad ..."
“My wife should try to be like my mother, who is the best woman in the world ...”
"My wife must obey me, first, because I'm right, secondly, because my mother always obeyed my father ..."
"My parents are the best, so my wife should love and obey them in the same way that I do"
"My wife and I will decorate the house, eat, rest, raise children, etc., as my parents did."
That's where it all begins. The experience of the ancestral family turns not into a friend, but into a formidable dragon, which each of the young people seeks to introduce into their new life.