How to stay friends?
Anyone who has experienced parting with a loved one at least once in his life knows how painful it is. It is terrible when life collapses and the earth leaves from under the feet. You knew each other more than anyone else in the whole wide world, understood without words, you were one, and overnight all this did not come. The thought that you lose this person forever is unbearable, and the first thing that comes to mind when the ability to think how to remain friends comes back.
This question is complicated, first of all, because the expediency of this friendship is called into question, since it is unlikely that both of you will be able to treat each other like real friends, without any desire for closeness and attempts to return the old relationship.
But, if you are determined to maintain friendships with your or your former love, then try the following recommendations.
Tips for girls
What girls need to know to stay friends with their ex:
- The first thing you need to know when deciding how to stay with a boyfriend friends, if you were the initiator of the gap, it is necessary to clearly indicate your intention to be for him only a friend. You must say that you will never seek intimacy with him.Men's vanity is a fragile thing, try not to hurt him. Emphasize his dignity, say that you appreciate him very much as a person. Not every guy will accept these conditions, because you threw him, and for a man it is a terrible blow to his pride. If he leaves, then there is no point in trying to hold him. Let him go.
- If a young man offers you to remain friends, then you must decide how to remain friends, and whether you need it. To get started, take a time out to think things through and survive. Friendship is possible only after the passions subside. Do not call him constantly, try to find in life a bunch of different things and new acquaintances.
- Do not look for "random" meetings with him, do not call on every occasion, do not try to lure him, excite him. Dress in his presence more modest, avoid touching, immodest glances.
- Pay attention to your appearance, a new hairstyle is often the first step to a new life. But let the changes in your life not be so that you see how beautiful you are and want to come back. Change for yourself.
Tips for guys
Parting with your girlfriend, you want to maintain friendly relations with her.What you need and do not need to do, in this case:
- Be honest, tell me what you did not like in your relationship. Do not try to shift the blame for your parting on the female shoulders. How to stay friends with a girl? Do not leave her hope for future reconciliation.
- Retire for a while, call no more than once a week. Avoid short and sweet names.
- Try to meet with her in large companies, avoid being alone.
- At first, after the break, try not to advertise your new relationship, especially if you know that she has no one.
- You should not immediately insist on friendship, because, of course, such a friendship rarely has a chance to exist. If she doesn’t want anything to do with you, try to impose her friendship on her, disappear from her life. It will be better this way.
Friendship, of course, is a wonderful feeling, but rarely when it arises between former lovers, since the pain of the experience prevents one from seeing the good in a person. Resentment negates all the positive aspects of your former young man or girl. Therefore, when parting you do not need to insult each other, look for the guilty, blame and try to cause pity.Behave yourself worthily, thank each other for all the good that was between you. Go ahead and do not look back. Time heals, and it is possible that after a few years, you will remember with a smile all your past wrongs, and really become each other good friends.